This is for everyone regardless of relationship status. Be sure to check out her YouTube page for tips and advice in her bite size videos.
A great conversation with psychotherapist Esther Perel, reflecting on a number of topics such as attitude to relationships, desire, love and dating. This is for everyone regardless of relationship status. Be sure to check out her YouTube page for tips and advice in her bite size videos.
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The New Year is a natural and popular time for renewed focus on personal development and desired life changes. Often intentions fail to materialise for a combination of reasons including lack of concrete plans and sustain application.
When it comes to counselling and psychotherapy, the desire for change, the desire to be happier, to be free from emotional pain requires an accompanying understanding and mind set of tolerance to emotional pain and discomfort. Whilst current life difficulties invariably result in distress such as depression and excessive anxiety, dealing with the causes of the distress also brings contact with denied and unprocessed feelings and emotions. This is also very difficult and can seeming overwhelming to even come near it which can be part of the reason for distress in the first place as coping mechanisms used to help people deal with the emotional pain unwittingly causes the intensity of the feelings or lack of feelings to build over time to the point that it becomes unsustainable. The healing aspect of therapy where experiences need to be processed means a different type of emotional pain and discomfort is encountered. With that it highlights the impasse people often get stuck between where the symptoms such as depression and OCD are down to the difficulty in dealing with the root causes of their distress such as death of a loved one or childhood trauma. Faced with such a situation there is an understandable desire to be relieved from the pain and ironically therapy which is a space of healing can at first glance be seen as a space that doesn’t evoke refuge because it doesn’t represent a pain free option. Doing the work of dealing with a painful past means eventual contact with the pain carried from unprocessed feelings. This is one thing that needs to be highlighted more in that the work of healing as often it get worse in the short term before it gets better in the long term due to the process of facing up the past in all its persuasions including in no particular order - loss, shame, guilt, anger, sadness, mourning, acceptance. In the end it comes down to reaching a tipping point of being in a place to deal with the pain of the unknown future over the known pain of the past and present, either way there’s no pain free option when it comes making changes in your life and dealing with the emotional injuries and its legacy. As a therapist I’m glad that our emotional and mental wellbeing is getting more and more attention. Working with a therapist to address issues being experienced allows a fuller life to be lived.
How counselling can help? Through creating a safe and trusting working relationship where anything and everything can be talked about, without judgement, the problems that have arisen in life can be worked through. Therapy can be used to deal with the impact of emotional and mental distress caused by current stressful circumstances or historical life experiences such as, anxiety, depression, financial debt, relationship problems, self-esteem difficulties, traumatic experiences and work related issues. Therapy is often life changing as the insight and growth gained becomes a means for making a change in different areas of your life, for instance:
If you are interested or know anyone who wants to learn more about how counselling can help please ask them to get in touch. I’m happy to answer any questions. I’m a BACP accredited counsellor / psychotherapist. I work, face to face or online, on a short and long term basis depending on individual needs to help with mental and emotional difficulties. I currently have availability to see clients. Also, if you are worried about someone you know and are wondering how to have a conversation about it see this link for guidance. In a previous blog looking at factors that enhance our wellbeing, if you are able to work, finding satisfying and fulfilling work or career can play a huge part in how happy you may feel in your life.
The article below looks at, among other things finding the right career; making the most of your job if leaving isn't a viable option at the present time and tips on finding the right job/career for you. There's a lot of good tips on the small or big changes that can be made made to make positive changes in your life. Have a read and see what you might identify with and what you may find useful. Feel free to share with people in your life who may benefit from the information. Finding the Right Career Freud: 'Those who do not remember and come to terms with their past are destined to repeat it, at least with their children.' I've spoken about it in a previous blog about using therapy proactively and I feel AC Grayling makes the case in a different but very similar way. Counselling is usually associated with times of crisis. However I'm a firm believer in the use of the therapeutic space in a positive, forward looking way. I feel at times there's little emphasis in using therapy proactively. The space available can be used as a general exercise in self-development by using it to better understand the way you are or motivations before making major life changing decisions.
This will be different for different people. Some of the situations that come to mind are better performance at work, career change or even parenthood. Using counselling positively would mean evaluating your beliefs and feelings, dealing with any mental and emotional blocks so that you can be the best parent one could possibly be for instance. Forward looking, it’s all about how life can be made more fulfilling. |
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